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Post  moulin on Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:44 am

hi i recently had a review with my psychiatrist ..psychologist and mhn.....
listening to rug rat and problemms with past.......not wanting to revisit places but not being able to forget...i hate it.. i want to spill my guts but it has so many well as bpd and stuff....and self harm....i cut every day 64 time 16 on each arm and leg...i have been self medicating with alcohol......i laso take cipralex..zopiclone and psych things i may need long term in patient care..which i dont want..i ahve agreeed to rehab for the alcohol..i'm not addicted physically but mentally...which is three months
i'm still seeing thins in sobriety
i'm scared..i want my independence.....


Join date : 2009-04-21

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Post  sky on Thu Apr 30, 2009 6:24 am

Sorry to hear you have such serious problems Moulin. How do you see yourself becoming independant i wonder? Perhaps before you can be healthily independant you need to get the help you need to heal and to take care of yourself in a kind way? Unfortunately it is difficult to be healthily independant unless we have had a healthy dependency and perhaps that is something you never had? It sounds like you need help and i hope you are able to take it. I hear you are self harming to cope with your pain and wonder if you have a therapist to work through the pain with?

I also wonder what it is you need here? - how can we help you? Perhaps you need us to hear how tough it is right now - i am hearing that and i am sorry you are having to suffer so.

With support

Sky xx inpatient care 913397 inpatient care 275180

Our lives are like the course of the sun. At the darkest moment there is the promise of daylight.

Join date : 2009-04-11

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Post  Guest on Thu Apr 30, 2009 7:01 am

i'm scared..i want my independence.....
Im sorry you are having such a tough time moulin. This sentence above struck me. I hear that you want to be independent yet you already are very dependent, even without the hospital. It sounds like the SH and alcohol and your past are controlling you rather than you having control of them.
Going to hospital does not mean you will become dependent but rather independent. You already are dependent. Hospitals will help you to get out of this vicious circle. Hopefully.

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Post  shaktipat on Mon Jul 19, 2010 2:53 pm

Dear Moulin
sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you.
The revisiting of events is not the way it is ever going to be sorted especially if you are hating it so much.
The true power is still within you you just can't see it that way. but there is help available.
I can assure you this is not the end of the road. Your dependency on these drugs is just an indication how you want to feel yourself again. Once you are on the road to recovery all those add ons will drop off.


Join date : 2010-07-19
Location : Pembrokeshire

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